I sat quietly with an empty baby car seat by my side as I rode to the hospital. “Congratulations man! Your life is going to change!” That was the taxi driver, breaking the silence. He’d simply connected the dots. I smiled. I had heard those lines repeatedly over the last 9 months. “Thanks man. Have any?” I asked. “Yea! 2 boys.” His excitement was obvious. “Believe me bro! They are the best things to ever happen to me.”
17 hours later, I watched as the midwife pulled out my baby. I’ll never forget! The tiny creature, crying, blinking her eyes to adjust to the outside world, lips moving in a suckling manner. Oh my God! I kept muttering to myself. I put my hands on my head and walked away for a moment. I had never experienced anything like this. Rob Kemp sums it up perfectly.
No matter what you read before or what classes you attended or whatever the advice you took, it’s unlikely that anything prepared you fully for the birth of your first child. ”
Rob Kemp, The New Dad’s Survival Guide
Regardless of how we’re born, we all start out as babies. So, why was I this emotional? Perhaps, because this wasn’t just any baby. This was a baby that I’d seeded; a mini-me.
That was the moment my life changed. It’s one thing to see a scan, rub baby bumps daily, marvel at the slight movements and even try to guess what part of the fetus is in what position in the womb. It’s a totally different experience to see or hold your baby for the first time. Nothing prepares you for it!
By the time I left the hospital, I was a different person, convinced my life was never going to be the same. For one, I had witnessed firsthand my wife go through the natural birth process; gruelling & painful! To think anyone goes through the process once let alone multiple times is a miracle. And with that, I have a higher degree of appreciation and respect for women. Then there’s the midwives and doctors for all the care, support and handling; immense gratitude to the NHS!
Becoming Baba Funke
In keeping with my Yoruba culture, the baby was named a week after. She was named Oluwafunke (Funke for short) after my mother-in-law and late paternal grandmother. Oluwafunke means, God gave me someone to cherish. In Yoruba culture, it’s customary to call a mom or dad by the name of their first child. Hence, I was now Baba Funke; the name by which I’ll be known for the rest of my life.
Daddy Creates is born…
Following that life-changing moment, I found myself continuously wrestling with some thoughts. How could I truly relish the experience of fatherhood? Everything from changing nappies, cooing Funke to sleep, to helping her navigate her first steps, words etc. is a process I am committed to embracing gracefully, excitedly and passionately. It’s one that comes with a sense of responsibility, perhaps, the highest calling in the life of any parent. It echoes education, learning, teaching, mentoring. Hence, how could I relate my growing experience of life and the very things I’ve come to enjoy – travel, spontaneity, cultural identity, programming, reading, writing, stories, teaching – to my fatherhood journey?
The answers to those questions serve as my compass for this platform.
